Lost in Meaningless Pursuit of Meaning

For the past decade I have consistently caught myself in a very unique type of a self-destructive cycle. I exhaust myself with planning out what I should do, consider that an accomplishment, declare myself tired, and then do whatever I feel like doing (usually nothing like the plan) to relax, and the next morning the cycle starts again. This is the meaningless pursuit of meaning, for meaning is only a rational concept when talking about the past, not the future. A plan has no meaning for it has not happened yet, it's only an idea, a single-person meme that can trap you forever. It is important to remember that it's always easier to spend time coming up with a new plan as opposed to following your old one.